Chinese New Year?

Chinese New Year of year 2009, it is a truly tremendously boring Chinese New Year ever..

Why I said so? Every year during Chinese New Year, my house will become like a open house and a lot of relatives & friends come and pay us a visit, but it is totally different this year, seriously it is so darn boring until I go out and sing K during Chinese New Year, but thank God, I have spend 7 hours on sing-K, which means I enjoyed a 7 hours.

Of course the happiest moment is receiving the big red pocket from my mom! Amount is unexposed, but is truly enough for me and maybe I will use this amount to buy the air ticket once a gain to attend The Call & Ring of Fire Convergence of this year? Maybe.

Feel that there is something changed in me, no more the past of "Paul". Something difference in me had "grown", no idea what it is, no idea good nor bad, don't know, as long as it did not really effect me in doing anything, that will be fine, maybe?

Absolutely I thank God that I have my own characteristic back in 2008, I was totally lost in the past (as I mentioned before), now I felt that actually I have a mind set and I can decide lots of things, negative or positive, it is just under a simple decision, by decision making, it truly can destroy and fulfill everything. Cool isn't it? However, since God opened up my eye in year 2008, I believe that God wants me to do something for Him in this year, this is a matter of fact, which could not decline nor deny.

Was having a person in my mind in these days, sorrow? painful? missing? I could not believe this but I still I have to say, it IS totally gone in me! Cool eh? Hahaha!! At least I am feeling better in me and since the disappear of the feeling, I felt that I have another mindset in me -- It is good to be single, like Apostle Paul. The bible did not say Apostle Paul being single for his life because he is being rejected for many times or something unhappy brought him to single forever, but he is single for the sake of Christ, he just want to give his life to Jesus and just keep his focus onto God. As his secret of his life written in Galatians 2:20, no longer he lives but Christ lives in him. Proud of him, can I be like him? Focus on God all the rest of my life and couple, or.....will I be like him?

A broken heart...under process of healing....pain...deadly surviving....

"Dad, I'm so suffering..."

"Don't worry son, it will be fine, I am here with you."

"But dad, I am so painful inside, feel like dying and I just want to keep myself surviving.... There is no one I could express my feeling to..."

"I know how you feel, my son. I am here with you."

"....Sorry dad, I knew I did something wrong, which is so wrong and I couldn't...."

"Stop it son, do not just keep on apologize and blaming yourself, did I ever said that I'm angry with you? Do not hesitate and depress."

"......"

"Don't you worry my son, whatever thing happens, I am here with you."

"I understand.... But..."

"What are you hesitating? Don't you know that there is nothing too difficult for me? I raise the dead, open the eye of blinds, strengthen those who admit they are weak, heal those who are ill. What are you hesitate or suspecting?"

"No...I don't mean that..just..."

"Just the situation now you're in seems difficult for you, isn't it?"

"Exactly..."

"This is the lesson you need to learn my son, when there seems impossible, it is actually possible; when there seems too difficult for you, thus it is not a problem for Me. My child, give up what is in you and concentrate on me, not by your might nor by your wisdom, but by my spirit, things will be done."

"Thank you dad, I got it..."

The worse situation I am in, the stronger I will be.

Public Speech

We all want success in life. We want success in our home life, business life, and in our relationships with others. The most important single factor that guarantees our success in every aspect of our lives is having a positive attitude. Without a positive attitude success is not possible. Earl Nightingale call attitude "the magic word."

You will never attract positive things into your life if all of your thoughts are negative. Just as a magnet attracts anything metal our minds attract the things we think about most. Your mind will always seek to turn the things you think about most into physical reality. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, "A man becomes what he thinks about, most of the time."

Everyone of us has two different minds, the conscious and the subconscious. The conscious mind is our thinking, which uses logic, deduction, reason, and sound judgment to make its decisions. Your choices in life are made by the conscious mind.

The subconscious mind lies outside your conscious mind. It has access to data, information, and ideas outside your own experience. Your subconscious mind works 24 hours a day and it is the source of all examples of pure creativity, problem solving, and goal achievement. It is a magical part of your mind. The part of your mind where genius lies.

Our subconscious mind is not able to distinguish between positive and negative thoughts. So, if you tell yourself something often enough your subconscious will eventually come to believe it. If you repeat something often enough whether it be positive or negative it will become your reality. This is because your subconscious mind constantly strives to attract the material equivalent of your most frequent and prominent thoughts.

It is impossible for a negative mind to attract positive things. If you're thinking about problems constantly you will find them. Is it possible to overcome negative and pessimistic thinking with postive thoughts? You bet it is! And it's something which can be easily learned.

It's all a matter of conditioning. You can train your mind to think positive thoughts the same way you can learn anything else. The way to do this, is to remove any negative thoughts one at a time until there are none left. And for each negative thought that you remove, you then plant a new and positive thought in its place. You then nurture those positive thoughts until there is no room for any negative thoughts to grow. Then, make a habit of stopping a negative thought any time it appears and replacing it with a positive thought. For example, replace, "I can't do it" with "I can do it" and you'll find your attitude and your life will greatly improve.

Positive thoughts will lead you to financial success and it will help you find the true riches of life for yourself and your family. So whatever it is in life that you want, you must begin today to become a "positive thinker." Once you do this your future success will be unlimited.

Things that I dislike a parents do to their children the most

A month ago, my cousins from Australia came back for vacation, it's their school break, which break for 3 and a half months...gosh, how I wish that I could study in Australia so can have such a long break.

Absolutely they will say at my house for few days and then stay at their dad's house for few days, switching here and there. During the days those kids stay at my home, I totally saw how am I being treated or so call "educated" by my grandma and relatives.

Poor both of my cousins are totally experiencing the same every single "educating system". It's like this:

1.)Forced to do something which they don't really want to.
2.)Beaten up like hell just to teach them to do this and that (of course they are naughty sometimes, but kids are like that, agree?)
3.)Yell at them while they look up sad and unhappy, then when they try to explain or answer back, due to the Chinese traditional culture, it is a rude reaction, then the situation worsen.

This is just part of the "educating system" they experienced, it is totally a big difference if compare to my childhood, interested knowing? Well, like it or not, I would like to share out so that readers could know how I have my childhood and hope you guys do not treat your children like this, no matter in spiritual or biological.

Continue in:

4.)Slap on the face until my face got swollen and my ears gone deaf for couple of hours.
5.)Kneel before the idol with the matches branches placed on my knee for 2-3 hours. (Imagine that pain, try it if you wanna know how it feels.)
6.)In the situation of number 5, at the same time, my feet is whack heavily with a cane for times which I couldn't even remember, just remember that both of my feet are swollen with the traces of the cane.
7.)Scrub my lips with chili.
8.)Threaten by using a knife to cut of my fingers, which the knife had already placed on my fingers.
9.)Beaten up like hell with a mosquito bat until the iron breaks out. (Praise God that the battery inside the mosquito bat was taken out by dunno who, if not, I will suffer another electricity pain.)
10.)Always being ordered to do this or that, while don't know or do it wrongly, will beaten up again.

I do not deny that I am being rude or naughty on that days, is it my fault actually? Due to my cousins, I don't see there is any fault on them, so do I. But this is not the way to teach our children.

I think that's all to stat, really suffering to recall this, but I want the whole world to know that, never treat your spiritual or biological children like this, if not, things will always turn upside down when it goes to a maximum. That is why now I afraid nothing in physical and so angry while I see a parent teaching their children in an aggressive way.

Praise God that God had saved me from suffering and set me free, so that I could fly on the sky with Christ the Lord. Amen.

P..a...s...t...o....r....?

Out of a sudden, my mind like pop up with a word "Pastor". Obviously I know what this means, but when? And my mind is like, 5 years later, not only I want to become a great great and great youth leader, I want to become a Youth Pastor and Pastoring in Youth Ministry, can it come true? I don't know, don't really care, but I will begin to fight for this calling, this vision. Amen

Been too busy?

Today I was ministered by my Cell Leader, Intern Pastor Calvin. During the prophetic prayer, through him God spoke to me..

He said that I was busy all day long, until I got no time to do some other things... And then I got no time to meditate... I think this prophetic prayer is wonderful... God is truly great..

Well, I did not realize that I'm such a busy, until I got no time to meditate... I think is time to put down something on my hand, and start to reach out for something NEW and fresh and maybe something which I hunger so long... Breakthrough my spirit and enter the Spiritual Realm!! This is what I hope for in my life. I just so wanna breakthrough my spirit and my relationship with the Lord, then just once in a while my spirit lifted up by the Lord to the Spiritual Realm, and let me see and take a look at the Spiritual Realm, how it looks like...

I think everything is possible, I believe when I meditate and spend more time with God, everything become possible! Maybe my hope in my life will only comes true after my body dead? This is important no more.. Most importantly is, I know that I could gain what I expected to gain during meditate...Amen~!

Urmm.....

Dunno what happen to me these day, whenever I was try to publish a post, I will hesitate at the last minute, dunno why...weird...

At last I'm posing here right now. Well, just recall back what had happen on me recently or sort to say after my previous post..

Well, many thing happens. Something which is really annoying my mind and my spirit. Always had something in my mind, well, I believe I will get rid of it.
I can tell that this month's sermon is focusing on giving us a mindset of "Year 2009 is a Year of Breakthrough". As I summarize it...

Yeah, I do believe this is the year of breakthrough...and actually, every single day, every single year, is the year of breakthrough... I dunno whether people realize that or not, when we intend to have a breakthrough, there will be a breakthrough. When we putting the word breakthrough around our lips, it will become a slogan, that is no good. So, what makes a breakthrough become true is, ACTION. You need to act it out for a breakthrough.

Example if a poor guy, begging the Lord for wealth, but he doing nothing but just praying praying and praying every single day, until he get fed up, he pray no more, then he will angry on God. But who knows that actually when he pray, and then he go and work it out, God is going to pour out the blessing of wealth onto him??

So..action for your breakthrough....

I think that's all for this post...my eyes gone blur and my brain is no longer working... Cannot really think of focus on any recall. God Bless guys.

Beginning, Process & The End

Year 2009 is totally a year of breakthrough, I believe it is.
As at the beginning of this year, one of my dearest brother in Christ met up some circumstance which don't really seems good, so do I. We both enter different kind of problems which could really pull us down and make us so depress, sad, down and stress!! But we do believe that this is just the beginning of this year, it will never be the same on December 31st year 2009!

I believe everything is under God's control and God is seeing what had happen on me everyday of my life, no once sees it but God testify it. I could tell that in this very beginning of this year, I been through a very very hard time. But I do believe, after this hard time I've passed, there is nothing that could block me anymore, because such a thing happen once a year, is totally enough for me to bear on. This incident happen really cost me a lot, of course I am not blaming anyone for this, because there is nothing to blame of. But I do believe after this incident, I can do more for God, because which always had in my mind, disturbing in my mind, distracting my concentration on my mind, had finally gone. So now there is nothing to distract me from focusing on God's work and His kingdom.

I, Paul, do believe that in the end of this year 2009, I will never be the same, I will not only going to accomplish my target. I will also accomplish a double result of my target!! Amen!!

短暂与永恒

如果短暂会使永恒失去，
我宁愿放弃短暂，
持守永恒。

因为一时的失误，
选择了短暂，
现在连选择永恒的机会也渺茫了。。。

我不会再选择短暂，
因为它使我伤心断肠；

我会选择永恒，
因为它将使我刻骨铭心。

作者：
叶永恒 Paul Yap

W A R N I N G !

哥林多前书5:6-8
6你们这自夸是不好的。岂不知一点面酵能使全团发起来麽？

7你们既是无酵的面，应当把旧酵除净，好使你们成为新团；因为我们逾越节的羔羊基督已经被杀献祭了。

8所以，我们守这节不可用旧酵，也不可用恶毒（或作：阴毒）、邪恶的酵，只用诚实真正的无酵饼。
。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

阿门。最近神一直不断地在告诉我这段经文，我也一直在祷告到底神要告诉我的是什么东西，而且我从前读这段经文的时候也是不明白保罗所指的是什么东西。
直到最近几天，发生了件非常无聊而且不成熟的事件，要知道什么事私底下找我就好了。

保罗第六节一开始就说了，“你们这自夸是不好的，”。保罗所指的，“自夸”，这两个字，其实还包容了私底下的事情，除了自己赞美自己，还包含了一种语素就是，“在私底下夸耀、夸大、夸语”。当自夸出现，就等于是伤亡的起源。

接下去他说到，“岂不知一点面酵能使全团发起来么？”。这句真理非常简单，如果我把这句比喻说成，“岂不知你所说的一句话能使人跌倒么？”感觉怎么样呢？是否属灵的眼睛被神的话语开启了？若不，去祷告吧！保罗最严厉责备和教导的教会就是哥林多教会，因为当中有人犯了奸淫和许多的恶行，直到保罗也问他们，当他到访哥林多教会的时候，是愿意他带着刑杖去，还是愿意他存着慈爱温柔的心去。

那使全团面发起来的酵啊，你们是要我保持存着温柔爱你们的心呢，还是持着刑杖与你们对辨呢？难道你们以为我没有权柄如此做吗？

继续保罗就说，“你们既是无酵的面，应当把旧酵除净，好使你们成为新团；因为我们逾越节的羔羊基督已经被杀献祭了"。 哇，这句我喜欢！既然已经被基督的血洗净了，就成为新团！新团就是pure & clean!Without any unnecessary rubbish items on the flour!就像初生婴孩一样的纯洁！
同时候就是说那些使人跌倒的事情、话语、动作、情感和态度也就别再做了！因为既然基督已从死里复活，为咱们流了宝血，就当知道基督已经洗净了我们！不然基督的死就枉然了！

再来在第8节，“所以，我们守这节不可用旧酵，也不可用恶毒（或作：阴毒）、邪恶的酵，只用诚实真正的无酵饼”。这个我更喜欢，不可用恶毒、邪恶！恶毒和邪恶者两个字本身都够Evil了，在读清楚这四个字，有两个字是同样一起出现的，就是“恶”。在诗篇，凡是被称为恶人的，无论男女，信与未信，都是一样承受一个结局，死。

可能对某些在读这post的人，感觉会很深，有些应该不会。但是我还是奉劝一句，别成为一个使别人跌倒，使人与人之间感情破裂，把团队与世界搞得一塌糊涂的害群之马，别让基督的血枉流了！

Pain out of nowhere?!?!?!

Walao A, I don't even know what happen to me right now, my back is totally suffering and pain like being beaten up the whole last night!! I don't know what's going on and what's wrong with my body right now, just felt very pain and I can even feel pain when I breath! It was too dangerous for me to drive just now from college go back to home including helping my family doing this and that. It is so suffering right now...what happen....????

Tagged by Nixon ( I did this tag before, LoL)

1. Do u hav any secret?
Yup

2. Would u fall in love with boy younger (girl older) than u?
hmm...older than me 1 year is maximum, but usually won't.

3. Do u enjoy going to school?
Yup...

4. wat would u do with a billion dollars?
Tithes and invest 2 million to Beulah. 7 Million to do my vary own things.

5. which is more blessed, being loved or loving someone?
loving each other deeply...

6. List out 10 favourite songs
- 十字架上
- Dancing Generation
- Say So
- I can't live without you
- Can't smile without you
- 你手中
- 爱不疚
- I not ashamed
- Break Free
- Forever

7. If the person u admired is attached, what will u do?
Bless her...

8. Is there anything makes u extremely happy?
seeing souls saved

9. What makes u angry?
Seeing some other parents scold and beat their children when their children done things wrong. At least give some good teaching but not beat them up and scold up like hell. (I just saw this scene when I went to 7-11 an hour ago before I post this tag.)

10. How would u c yourself in 10 years time?
A Youth Pastor and a good husband

11. Who is currently the most important person to u?
people whom I love, not to list, I love many people

12. What is the most important thing in life?
love

13. Would u rather be single and rich or married but poor?
married, not going to be poor. My Father won't let me poor, so do I won't let my wife live in a hard life.

14. wat is ur favourite color?
White, Blue, combination of Black + Red

15. If u were to fall in love, which 2 ppl will u pick?
2 ppl?? what a weird question, I only fall in love with one person!!

16. Will u forgive and forgot how horrible the things a person has done to u?
I will forgive but it is really difficult to forget, it depends.

17. what do u want to tell the person u like?
hahaha!! I like? hmm...can u be my girl and my wife in the future? Hahaha!!! Most of the guys will say this to their girl or the person they like... But when it came from me....I mean it.

18. What kind of person would u fall in love with?
sweet, kind, loving, dun need to be very tall(so tall for what?), funny. Most important, positive and smile all the time! =D

19. list 5 ppl to pass this on to
- Eric (dono u done this be4 anot)
- Jessica (dono when will u online and read this post. LoL)
- ZiKang
- KC
- Daniel Chieng

九曲十三弯，惨过去荷兰 ^^"

Hahaha..today was totally an enjoyable day for me!! =D

After we had finish our service at church today, we as me, Jessica, KC, Eric, Jacky and Joshua Au went to play badminton at my mom's condo. As you can see there is only 1 girl join with us to play badminton, really need to invite more girls lar...then can see girls play mar...

Of course we had our good time...yeah...so do I....
When we finish our game at 4:15, after I sent Joshua Au back to church, then I promise to sent Jessica home lor...cuz already promise for a long time, finally had the opportunity to fulfill it.

Well, her hostel switch to Shah Alam from Subang Jaya already...so as for me, guy who always lepak in PJ area, need to discover new place, so today I "play" at Subang <-> Shah Alam area lor....
Jess told me that she will recognize the way back to hostel when I reach Summit. Walao!! Sien arrrhhh!!! I found that I don't even know the way go to Summit! Oh gosh...really have to explore more areas... Then I just go straight after I ran to the highway, din even notice that already entered Kesas Highway in the other way.. =.=

Then we both in the car like exploring new places....looking here and there...finding for sign board...USJ 17...18...19... Then out of nowhere, I drove until her previous hostel -_-|||......
Then luckily she knows the way from there, thank God. Then she ask me to make a U-Turn under the crossover...walao, lagi funny, I accidentally went up to the crossover!! Wahhh!!!

"Then we go to Holland~~~to Holland~~~" bla bla bla....

Go until Putra Height there, still forward to the Tol area, make a U-Turn, then go back...thank God....hahaha!! Interesting!!

Then after that, finally she knows the way back to hostel adi...terrific...haha..

So weird that I know the way back wor...funny eh...haha...thank God again...

However, this "adventure" was amazing and fun...but no next time..haha... I don't mind about the petrol la that is not a problem as the petrol is cheaper than last time now... So is ok...
But well, it was interesting!!
Remember this day Jess! 九曲十三弯，惨过去荷兰~~~ Hahaha!!!

2008 --> 2009

There's been a lot of things happen in year 2008, plenty of changes happens, plenty of problems occur, plenty of promotion... Yeah...is time to recall it back what had happen during year 2008...

The days after I back from the NS Camp, which I been there for only 3 weeks, still remember clearly in my mind, that day when I was back to church, I'm being left out and boycott by the gangs, because of something happen which I did very wrong on that period, even youth church leaders (except for my cell leader & IP. David) let me feels that they treat me by a "special" attitude...absolutely a negative one. Forget it, it is just for recall, no longer important.

Then been dragging my date enter to college, because I was wanted to get my driving license then only I start my college life, yeah at last I do so but already dragged a long period of time. But then during the period, I was worked as a full time volunteer at church, from Tuesday till Friday, 9 to 5 and 7:30 to 5, although is not easy but I love the days.

And then wait until KC back from his NS Camp, Calvin once again help him to refresh what he has learned during his cell leader class, then at the same time teaching me the lesson as well, then we both could able to open up a cell group. In just 2 weeks time (if I am not mistaken), me & KC had totally finished up the cell leader training lesson, which the others have to take 3 months time to complete it.

Then finally during April, we had open up a cell group, which my cell have De Lon, Joshua Au, Wei Jia, Asa, Han Yuan. Praise God, in just a short period of time, my cell group have expanded to 5 cell members. Because De Lon did not join in in the earlier time, he accept Christ once again during the mid year. Praise God!!

Then A4J...Ring of Fire & The Call (Indonesia)...Encounter Camp...G12 Retreat Camp (I lost my jeans in this 2D 1N camp :(...Youth Camp...Caroling...Xmas Party...New Year Eve.... There had been a lot of things happens....lazy to type...

But then what I wanna thank God so much is, once in a leader meeting, I pledge my cell members will have 7 person in the end of year 2008, Praise God!! I have a total of 8 cell members in the end of year 2008!! Thank God to the Youth Camp, that my cell members could increase!!
Well, although there are a lot of new comers, I don't take them as very difficult to lead them, I could see that it is a very good chance of learning how to pastoral a cell group members! Haha!! Thank God! New challenge! New things to learn! Amen!!

Then what is my target for year 2009...well, let's see....

*To have a closer relationship with God
*To be a mature song leader
*To be a great cell leader
*To write 5 songs
*To be a great soldier
*Stay alert always
*Want to be an interpreter, if church leaders allows me to.
*Train up more great leaders in my cell group
*Have closer relationship with my cell members
*Love Jerusalem
*Know the will of God
*Try to persist in not to couple with any girls, even though how much I love her...

Well, I think that is a lot enough to archive...God please grant me strength to score this goal...
Amen..!

New Year Eve 2008!!

As this is the last day of 2008....and also a last celebration we could able to have with our very good and close brother Eric....coz he is soon going back to Sabah already...so we celebrate the New Year Eve and also the farewell for him also lor... Gosh....gonna miss him so damn much...

Alright! As on Eric's blog stated, I reach ZiKang's place almost 4 o'clock, I wonder why ss2 is so jam on that day, maybe a lot of people heading to The Curve? Or some other places....whatever... Then start raining....then my brothers ar, very funny, they see rain comes, they ask me to pray...walao....cool guys!! Hahaha!! yeah... So I walk to the balcony of ZiKang's house and pray(act like not praying but I am! hahaha!!!) So thank God...after 15 minutes, rain stop. Then I realize that the rain make the weather fresh and nice...praise God...God loves His children so much =)

Then after that we have our enjoyment...


Haih...so big liao....also need ppl to feed to drink...


Na....mark this down...this is Eric la.... =D


Thx Jacky & KC set this up for the gang =)


ZiKang is always ready to jump off -_-|||


This is me la....posing @.@" (influence by who hah? wonder.....)


Jacky was so wanna enjoy to flow on the water....yea...it's relaxing indeed! =D


A very talented and great cell member...De Lon...always wanna act here and there...
Here...act very full lagi...hahah!!


Hehehe....another pose!!


This is our main la....


This felle, always play 属灵, see him also sien =.=